Let's Talk About ME Some More

I went into town to get my tits measured and left with:

• Shockingly expensive moisturiser to stop my face from flaking off
• A book about Australia
• A watch
• Camera accessories
• Two pairs of shorts
• A Creme Egg because its a slur on Jesus' name if you don't eat a certain amount a week and I simply don't have time for the Wrath Of God right now.

Can we spell s-h-o-p-a-h-o-l-i-c?

Miraculously I even remembered to buy £50 worth of Nork Hammocks to ensure that my nipples don't become too well aquainted with my knees in later years.

I also had a good chuckle at the tourists in plastic ponchos although I soon stopped laughing when the heavens opened and I ended up drenched.

Again.

Cunts.