No Pain, No Gain? Bollocks To That.

Despite the Bordering On Obsessive amount of working out I do my stomach looks like I've been masturbating with a bicycle pump, its been bloated like this for weeks, if it wasn't for the fact that there's no chance of me being knocked up I'd be sat in a hot bath with a bottle of gin and a substantial amount of paracetamol by now.

In an attempt to flatten my stomach I went to a Norgoff Synergy class on Wednesday which is basically lying on a mat and being tortured working your core muscles and two days on I still feel like a gang of 9 year olds took a baseball bat to my ribs, kicked me in the stomach and ran off with my chips.
Judging by the pain I’m in I reckon I must have rock hard abs, it’s just hard to tell at the moment through the layers of fat. I know I should cut down on the Crème Eggs but I don’t want to go to hell for defying God’s Word.*

Ah well, I'll start the diet after my four day celebration of chocolate Easter weekend.

See, Christians do have uses other than lion food after all.

* "Thou shalt eat as much egg shaped chocolate as thou can throughout March and/or April, (depending on where they decide to put the anniversary of the death and resurrection of Jesus this year), to honour the name of Christ himself or thou shalt face my wrath and thus the firey pits of Hell, weather permitting."

Incidently, a massive fucking congratulations to ShiftClick who beat 179 other applicants to get a job with a Four Word Title. In her own words; Fuckin A!