Last Piece Of Cake (For Now)

AJ - If I'm ever in Malaysia I'll look you up and let you cook for me ;)

Andi - One of the original four blogs I used to read obsessively back when I first started blogging, must be a year ago now (yep, this blog wasn't my first). You're always entertaining, its weird how I almost feel like I know you. Drop me an email anytime :)

Awaiting Xtasy - You fucking rock, girl. Need more be said? Keep in touch ;)

Bastard Bastard Harbour Master - A personal friend, love ya long time, gorgeous :)

Brianne - A blogger who has me in fucking stitches, I love reading about your life, keep it up :)

CyberPete - If I'm ever in your area I'll buy you something shiny in a glass with a high alcohol content and an umbrella. Keep in touch :)

Fewclewz - Your comments are fucking hysterical. I'll give you a shout when we get to Sydney, methinks beer will be in order ;)

Funny Thing - You're fucking hysterical, everytime I read your blog my sides spilt. Not literally though, that would just be gross.

IDV - Yeah, sorry about that coffee incident. Here, have some cake to make up for it.
*puts remaining laxatives back in the drawer and runs off to smear superglue on the toilet seat*

Jay - The second of the four blogs I've been reading since I discovered blogging. You need to stop doubting your writing and artistic skills, never have I read a blog with sooo many words in it that has kept me reading right to the end of the post. You're funny and captivating and probably drop dead gorgeous too :P

Jungle Jane - Your blog is what my blog wants to be when it grows up. You're funny and original, ask Muck, she'll tell ya, I wouldn't shut up about your blog after I found it :)

Lady Muck - Ranty midget and a personal friend which is why I can get away with calling her a ranty midget without her biting my ankles ;) Love ya darlin, you're one of my favourite people.

Lee - You big glittery gay. I've been reading your blog since year dot an all, you're fucking hilarious but you don't need me to tell you that :)

Marcus Tal - Your poetry touches me and not in a filthy way your mother wouldn't approve of. Keep it up.

NCEFABN - Well your one of my closest friends anyway and I'll see you when you come out to visit so an emotional goodbye seems somehow pointless.

Px - Fucking smile! ;) And keep in touch m'dear, probably see you online soon enough.

Qenny - You make me blow tea out of my nose. This is why I can no longer drink tea in internet cafes. Drop us an email :)

Runemeister - Hope the new(ish) job is going well, mate. I haven't had the internet time to check up on ya but I genuinely hope everything is going good for ya. My email address is plastered all over this blog, feel free to use it :)

Spike - Fancy a beer when we finally get to Sydney next year? :)

Tazzy & Piggy - Fucking loved your blog since they day I layed eyes on it and I guess its not your fault you're from the wrong side of the Pennines so all the best. One day I'll probably pester you to teach me how to do fancy things with photos.
*carefully refrains from calling them cunts so as to not spoil the tender moment*

Tickersoid - My cyber dad ;) And the funniest man on the net, your blog is one of my favourites. I consider you to be a friend, keep in touch :)

Webmiztris - Yours was the first blog I found that I came back to regularly and hopefully I'll be able to keep coming back to it. I love your outlook on life and your blog has kept me entertained for at least a year.

And everyone else including but not limited to; Becky, Christine, Dora & Tina, First Nations, Imogen, Jesus Toast, KyahGirl, Missy, No Shit Sherlock, Phosgene Kid, Polyman, Snooze, Swearing Lady and Tina

And anyone I forgot, it doesn't mean you don't rock, you do, it just means I have to go before I get myself into too much debt.

Keep In Touch.

Job Satisfaction

Pruning vines isn't the most enjoyable job in the world so I've been trying to think of ways to make it more bearable and I have decided that if I knew exactly what I was pruning I would find my job more fulfilling and meaningful.

The vinyard I work for sell their grapes to a company in Griffith who turn them into [yellow tail] which apparently they do sell in the UK but I wouldn't have noticed if it didn't have the words "Special Offer" or "Buy 3 For A Tenner" written on the price tag.
So in a noble attempt to keep the Australian economy afloat I tracked down a bottle of [yellow tail] shiraz which I purchased for the princely sum of $10.95.

Less than a fiver.

The only way this wine could be any more Me is if it came in a box or was in fact Lambrini if Lambrini was to be made from grapes which of course it isn't. I'm not too sure what it is made out of. Alcoholic's Urine, I think.

Anyway, I drank the bottle over the weekend and returned to work on Monday hoping to feel somehow more enlightened but by then we'd started pruning the merlot and the bottle of shiraz that I had painstakingly consumed seemed somehow wasted. Once again I felt empty and unfulfilled.

There's only one thing for it; extensive experimentation is in order.

If you need me I'll be at the bottle shop.


Edit:

*hic*

You're larrrverly you are arentchoo ay?

*hic*

Gisha shnog.

Today's Random Thought

What the fuck kind of sadistic cunt puts a fish and chip shop right opposite a gym?

Back To The Grind

On account of the fact I'm in Australia on a 12 month Working Holiday Visa, under a new-ish scheme, if I do three months "seasonal work in regional Australia" they might just let me stay for another year.
This roughly translates as three hellish months in a job you don't want in a part of Australia you never wanted to visit. In my case, vine pruning in Echuca-Moama. Oh joy.

In order to work outdoors in the middle of winter you need certain things. Things like:

Plaid Flanelette Shirt
Sleeves must be rolled up to the elbows at every available opportunity. Unfortunately my forearms aren't yet substantial enough to fully do it justice but this shouldn't be too much of a problem on account of the fact that vine pruning is the other daily workout for your wrists and forearms.

Warm Hat
It is a well known fact that the warmer the hat the more retarded it makes you look. Ear flaps are an added bonus for elite spastic chic.

Wellington Boots (Gumboots)
Traditionally used by the Welsh to keep sheep still.
*winks at Tickers*

Safety Goggles
Ideally wait until you nearly take your eye out with a wayward vine thus causing blurred vision in one eye and a feeling similar to that of a permanant eyelash stuck under your eyelid before requesting a pair of these. It adds to the Seasonal Work Experience.

Gloves
Won't stop you getting blisters or ease the pain that will wrack your torn wrists but will complete that "mum dressed me this morning" look.

Waterproof Jacket And Trousers
Make sure they leak. It lets you know you're still alive.

Brain
Not necessary. Leave this in the shed for the dogs to chew on, by the time you finish this job that's all it'll be good for.

Two days down, only... *counts*... erm... *drools a bit*... what was I saying?

Ooh, LOOKY at the shiny map thingy.